By Mrs. Dude (aka “Clever Dudette”)
This is a guest post from my wife, Stacie, and a follow-on to my hit rant “10 Tips for My Fellow Mass Transit Riders“. Stacie has to drive about 40 miles round-trip per day and decided to take a swing at her own (more polite) rant.
I am usually a well-mannered, polite woman, but some things people do in traffic really annoy me (see list below). Although I’m not going to give you any mean hand gestures or swear at you if you do these things (because I just don’t do those things), I am probably going to wonder why your parents didn’t teach you to “be nice to people”. And I’ll go home and tell Mr. Dude and all my friends about “that mean person in traffic today!” So be courteous.
Oh, and I might call up the authorities and report your license number. I’ve done so numerous times already…
- Keep the window up when you smoke. If I’m within 5 cars of you (anywhere in front of me or beside me basically), I CAN SMELL YOUR SMOKE IN MY CAR. It’s like you’re sitting there next to me smoking, and I’d like to preserve my health, thank you. And think of it this way, if you don’t want to keep the windows up when you smoke because you don’t like the smell, do you really think I like the smell?????
- Use your turn signal when you want to change lanes, not after you’ve already done so. And please, use it. I can’t read your mind and think you’re going to change lanes.
- If I give you space to be in the lane in front of me, wave at me nicely. The acknowledgment brightens my day.
- Don’t text message while driving. I like it when you pay attention to the road and the rest of us around you. Make your plans and talk to your friends when you’re at your destination. If anything, use a hands-free device like bluetooth or a headset. You’ll still be distracted, but at least you’ll hopefully be looking at the road.
- Don’t multitask–talking on your cell phone, smoking, and operating a stick shift are just too many things to do at one time! We were only given 2 hands–to have both on the wheel!!
- If it’s sprinkling, your car is not going to drown. You do not need to drive 15 miles slower than the speed limit! This is also applicable to any weather condition that will truly not impair your driving. And if you are scared, wait to drive until it’s a lower-traffic-volume time period or take public transportation. Many other drivers will thank you.
- Brake wisely. Your gas mileage and other drivers will thank you. I get annoyed when the person in front of me speeds up dramatically and then brakes suddenly, several times. Why do you do these silly things???
- Merge wisely and don’t wait until the last minute to merge or take an exit. It’s rude. It’s like cutting in line at the amusement park or ice cream shop (different story). You just don’t do it!
- Obey HOV laws. These are special lanes where at least 2 or 3 people must be in the car. When Mr. Dude and I get to use HOV together, we really don’t like those people who drive alone and try to use HOV. Not only is it illegal, it’s just NOT nice! Some day you will get caught, and I will laugh at you.
- Keep your distance. Even cars want their personal space, so obey it. It makes me queasy to think that if you invade my car’s personal space, you’d probably be that creepy guy at the bar trying to invade my body’s space too. It just isn’t cool. And I don’t want you hurting my MINI.
So now that you know my personal pet peeves on the road, obey them, and wave a happy hello to me in my blue MINI!
Photo by Robot B