You’re the Parent—So Why Doesn’t Your Son Respect You? 8 Fixable Mistakes
If you want your son to respect you, there are some things you need to be doing as a parent. Communication, consistency, and self-awareness are all key to raising a young man who respects you and others. If you are noticing behavioral issues like ignoring you, talking back, or just shrugging off your authority, it could be due to some of these common mistakes.
1. You Don’t Follow Through With Consequences
If you make threats but rarely enforce them, your son learns that your words don’t carry weight. He’ll test boundaries, knowing that discipline is more of a possibility than a promise. Inconsistent consequences teach kids that rules are optional. Over time, he loses trust in your authority and begins to tune you out. The fix? Only make promises or warnings you’re willing to keep.
2. You Talk More Than You Listen
If every interaction turns into a lecture, your son may feel dismissed or unheard. Constant talking without listening shuts down communication and creates frustration. When he doesn’t feel valued, he’s more likely to rebel or withdraw. Listening shows him you respect his thoughts—even if you disagree. This builds mutual respect and makes him more likely to hear you out in return.
3. You Criticize More Than You Praise
When kids only hear what they’re doing wrong, they eventually stop trying to do right. Criticism without encouragement chips away at confidence and creates resentment. Your son may start tuning you out as a way to protect his self-esteem. On the other hand, praise reinforces positive behavior and helps him feel seen for his efforts. Balance correction with genuine acknowledgment of growth, even if it’s small.
4. You Let Your Emotions Lead
Yelling, slamming doors, or emotionally reacting in anger teaches your son that respect is conditional. He may mimic that same behavior or retreat to avoid conflict altogether. Emotional outbursts undermine your credibility and make your home feel unstable. While it’s normal to feel frustrated, how you handle that frustration matters. Taking a breath before responding teaches emotional regulation by example.
5. You Don’t Model Respect
Kids are always watching—even when you think they aren’t. If you speak disrespectfully to your partner, family, or strangers, your son is likely to copy that behavior. Respect starts with what you show, not just what you say. Modeling patience, kindness, and boundaries teaches him how to treat others, including you. If you expect him to speak respectfully, make sure you’re setting the tone.
6. You Avoid Difficult Conversations
Avoiding uncomfortable topics like emotions, responsibility, or mistakes creates distance between you and your son. He may feel like he can’t come to you, or worse, that his concerns don’t matter. This leads to secrecy, rebellion, and a growing lack of trust. When you avoid the hard talks, you’re missing valuable teaching moments. Tackling tough issues head-on builds emotional intelligence and strengthens your bond.
7. You Try to Be His Friend Instead of His Parent
Being close to your son is important, but he still needs structure, discipline, and clear expectations. When you try too hard to be liked, you may avoid necessary boundaries. Kids respect leaders who guide them, not buddies who go along with everything. Over-friendliness can lead to confusion about who’s really in charge. Your son might love you, but he won’t respect you if he sees you as a pushover.
8. You Don’t Acknowledge Your Own Mistakes
Pretending you’re always right or never admitting fault sets an unrealistic example. It teaches your son that apologizing is a sign of weakness instead of strength. Owning up to your mistakes shows humility and earns deep respect. It also encourages him to take responsibility for his own behavior. When you say “I was wrong” or “I’m sorry,” you model accountability.
Rebuilding Respect Starts With You
Gaining your child’s respect isn’t necessarily a quick fix. However, it is learnable. Just make sure you are showing up and you are consistent. Also, never stop evolving as a parent. It’s okay to change your mind, apologize, or even have an open discussion with your son. At the end of the day, it’s all about shaping him into the man you want him to be.
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Drew Blankenship is a former Porsche technician who writes and develops content full-time. He lives in North Carolina, where he enjoys spending time with his wife and two children. While Drew no longer gets his hands dirty modifying Porsches, he still loves motorsport and avidly watches Formula 1.