Greedy Kids: Are they entitled to their parents’ money?
Reader Shawn pointed out this Q&A titled “My rich parents won’t share” for me from CNN Money.
A reader asks the following:
I recently learned my parents have a lot more money than I thought. Had I known, I would have asked them for help in buying a home several years ago, back when houses around here were affordable.
Don’t parents have some kind of obligation to be honest with their grown children about their financial situation? My wife and I may never be able to afford a house now.
You’ll have to click through to find out their answer, but adults are fully entitled to their own money, and kids should learn how to earn their own. Granted, if the child actually asked, and the parents lied about their savings, then I understand if they feel hurt and angry. But don’t blame your parents for your misfortune or poor planning if you’re fully capable of earning a living.
Parents need to live a comfortable life, and they aren’t accountable for your well-being once you’re an adult.
I wouldn’t ever borrow money from family. There are other ways to afford homes besides mooching off of Mom and Dad. You should save up for your own downpayment, the real estate market isn’t going to outperform a smart saver. Your parents need to think about retirement not whether their grown child will be able to afford a dream house.
Talk about lazy people, get a job!
I wonder if the son would have felt worse if his parents told him how much money they had, and then didn’t loan them money! That may very well be a reasonable course of action.
the housing market, thank god, is finally crashing and will keep on crashing, if someone can’t buy a house, then they need to lower their almighty standards.
With that kind of attitude, it’s no wonder they didn’t tell him!
>> Don’t parents have some kind of obligation
>> to be honest with their grown children about
>> their financial situation?
I think the only obligation these parents have in being honest about their financial situation is to honestly teach their children what they had to do to acquire their wealth. It’s doubtful that their parents helped them very much, and it sounds like that’s the same lesson that this child needs to learn. The child obviously has a “victim mentality” that will keep them down until they mature enough to get over it and take charge of their own life.
According to 2 Corinthians 12:14, parents should lay up riches for their children, but that doesn’t mean they have to buy them every toy they want–even if the “child” is now 30 and the “toy” is a new house.
Parents should not feel obligated to help their children out financially with every large purchase. He should think about all the money they have already spent over the past 18+? years to raise him.
The most I’d expect out of my parents when I buy a house is labor–moving and fixing things. I never expect any financial help from my parents.
I don’t know my parents’ financial situation. It’s not really my business unless they need something from me.
On the flip side, what about parents who think their kids owe them a living?!
I went through a similar situation (in reverse) with my parents:
http://fabulouslybrokeinthecity.blogspot.com/2007/06/should-i-bail-out-my-spendthrift.html
Part 2 is listed on the right-hand side of my blog…
hey what about those parents who inspite of facing loads of difficulties raise up a child……..if they think about themselves and want to enjoy later its their due right.if they are parents that doesnt mean they are only supposed to think about their kids.at your age its hard to believe that u expect to depend on them.
Wow, this sounds all to much like my boyfriend’s current adult children. They expect him to give them what they need before his own needs are met.
What your parents have in the bank isn’t really your business. You’re a grown adult that should have to deal with every day obstacles and financial conerns, just like your parents have done. I’m sure they have worked very hard to save their money and they shouldn’t have to feel like your entitled to it.
You need to tighten your grip on life and learn how to get their on your own. Afterall, your parents will not be around forever.
My husband and I have been married for 16 years, both worked hard for our money,
My husband did try to help his children my step-children a little along the way, but now one of his children first took him and had a will, trust and a Durable Power of Attorney which he gave to his daughter. Just found out that she tricked my husband into signing over about $300,000 policy to her as owner. He trusted her to the fullest and thats why he gave her the DPA which she insisted and had it all set up. He revoked the DPA now she has filed for Guardian of him and trying to prove him incapacitated because he revoked it. So if you have adult children please be careful what you do and who you trust with your life when you get older and cant take care of yourself.
I hope your husband’s daughter was not able to get guardianship of him because once you get in it is extremely hard to get out unless the person is not incapacitated. too many guardianship nightmare stories out there. And you are right be careful whom you trust.
Our adult children seemed to think we owed them a full ride to college, trips abroad, medical school for one. Not only that, he felt we owed him rent to live on the Boston Harbor. Granted we were finally getting ahead financially after years of paying my husband’s ex-wife alimony and child support. We helped them with college tuition but they seemed to feel they deserved more. We were not permitted to have any input regarding the expensive schools they chose to attend. Moreover, we lived in a very poor rural community in an old house. We struggled for years to give them a comfortable lifestyle. They now stalk us apparently because they feel cheated. We were finally able to spend our own wages on ourselves and this angered them. We even tried to make amends with them knowing we were the victims of their abuse. They continue to invade our privacy and have damaged our careers and reputations. All for greed. Why do adult children feel entitled to more than they are given since the law says they are not entitled to any financial support when they are legal adults?