Don’t Marry Him: 6 Personalities That Are Not Cut Out For Marriage
Marriage is a beautiful union, but it’s not for everyone. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported 673,989 divorces in 2022 across 45 reporting states and Washington, D.C. Seventy-five percent of divorces occur due to an overall lack of commitment. At the end of the day, some personalities simply aren’t suited to the compromises, responsibilities, and selflessness that come with lifelong commitment. If you’re considering tying the knot, it’s vital to recognize the red flags that signal someone might not be marriage material. Here are six personality types that could spell disaster for your happily ever after.
1. The Perpetual Party Boy
The perpetual party boy lives for the nightlife, thrives on chaos, and rarely considers the long-term consequences of his actions. While his free-spirited nature may seem exciting at first, it can quickly turn exhausting when responsibilities arise. Marriage requires stability, and a partner who prioritizes partying over building a life together will likely leave you feeling unsupported. His commitment to fun often overshadows his ability to commit to you. Relationships with perpetual party boys tend to become one-sided, with you picking up the slack. If he can’t leave the club scene behind, he may not be ready for marriage.
That said, if you fall in love with the “party boy,” they can change. The key here is to focus on whether or not they are ready to commit now, not focusing on what they did in the past. Several people chimed in with their thoughts on party boys settling down on Quora. Overall, most people think that these individuals can (and even want to) settle down, but not before they’re ready.
2. The Chronic Commitment-Phobe
As mentioned above, the top reason (75%) marriages end is due to a lack of commitment. If you try to marry someone who seems afraid of committing to you, or anything else for that matter, it’s not likely going to last.
The chronic commitment-phobe is always halfway out the door, even in serious relationships. He avoids discussing the future, hesitates to define the relationship, and struggles with the idea of permanence. This personality may thrive in short-term flings but falters when faced with the idea of “forever.” You’ll often find yourself questioning where you stand, which can be emotionally draining. A commitment-phobe will resist the deeper emotional intimacy marriage requires, leaving you feeling unfulfilled. If he’s not willing to work through his fears of commitment, he’s not ready for a long-term partnership.
3. The Eternal Man-Child
Women are actually more likely to file for divorce than men. They initiate about 70% of all divorces and this is due to several reasons. First, women have high expectations of their marriages, as they should. They also are more likely to feel like their emotional needs aren’t being met due to a lack of communication or appreciation. That’s where the eternal man-child comes into play.
The eternal man-child avoids responsibility and relies on others to handle life’s challenges, much of those issues falling on their wives. From failing to manage his finances to leaving everyday chores undone, he often views adult responsibilities as optional. While his carefree attitude may seem endearing at first, it becomes frustrating when you realize you’re doing all the heavy lifting. Marriage is a partnership, not a one-sided parent-child dynamic. A man-child’s inability to grow up can cause resentment and strain in a relationship. If he refuses to mature, he’s not marriage material.
4. The Control Freak
The control freak craves power and has a compulsive need to dictate every aspect of his life—and yours. From deciding how you spend your time to monitoring your every move, his behavior can quickly feel suffocating. Marriage requires equality and mutual respect, but a control freak struggles to relinquish authority. His need for control often stems from insecurity, which can lead to frequent arguments and emotional manipulation. Over time, you may feel like you’ve lost your independence. If he can’t embrace compromise, he’s not ready for a healthy marriage.
Honestly, controlling behavior is a valid reason to leave any relationship. Women frequently leave relationships where they feel like they are under someone else’s thumb and rightfully so.
5. The Chronic Cheater
No one deserves to be cheated on and it’s usually hard for the person who was wronged to get over it. If you find yourself having to constantly battle your significant other about their infidelity, it will likely lead to the demise of your relationship.
The chronic cheater has a long history of infidelity and struggles to stay loyal to one person. His inability to honor boundaries and commitment is a major red flag for marriage. Trust is the foundation of any successful union, and a chronic cheater will likely break that trust repeatedly. Even with promises to change, his track record suggests otherwise. You’ll find yourself constantly questioning his actions and second-guessing your relationship. Marriage to someone who can’t remain faithful is a recipe for heartache. Plus, you deserve someone who will commit to you and only you.
6. The Workaholic Without Balance
My wife is a bit of a workaholic and we’ve had our fair share of fights about it, but that’s a two-way street. There are times I’m tied to the desk trying to work through a project. However, we always make time for each other. If your partner isn’t willing to set aside time for you, it’s a red flag.
The workaholic without balance prioritizes his career over everything else, including his relationships. While ambition is admirable, his relentless focus on work often leaves little time or energy for emotional connection. You may feel like a distant second to his job, leading to feelings of neglect and isolation. Marriage requires effort and time to nurture the relationship, but a workaholic struggles to provide either. Without a clear willingness to establish a work-life balance, his priorities may never align with yours. This personality type often views relationships as secondary to success, making marriage challenging.
Marriage Needs the Right Personality Match
Choosing the right partner is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make. While no one is perfect, certain personality traits are incompatible with the demands of marriage. If your partner exhibits any of these six personalities, it’s worth reconsidering whether he’s truly ready for a lifetime commitment. A healthy marriage requires mutual respect, effort, and emotional availability. Don’t settle for less than a partner who’s ready to grow, share, and thrive with you. Trust your instincts and choose someone who values the union as much as you do.
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Drew Blankenship is a former Porsche technician who writes and develops content full-time. He lives in North Carolina, where he enjoys spending time with his wife and two children. While Drew no longer gets his hands dirty modifying Porsches, he still loves motorsport and avidly watches Formula 1.