9 Common Habits That End Marriages
Most marriages don’t just implode overnight. There are usually several things happening behind the scenes that tend to slowly chip away at the relationship. Sometimes, the couple might not even be aware of the habits they are taking part in that are ruining their connection. Here are nine habits that could potentially end your marriage.
1. Constant Criticism Instead of Constructive Feedback
No one likes to feel like they’re constantly under review. When feedback shifts from helpful to hurtful, it creates a toxic dynamic of shame and defensiveness. Over time, criticism chips away at self-esteem and the emotional bond between partners. Instead of encouraging growth, it feels like a relentless attack. If every conversation starts with “You always…” or “You never…,” you’re not solving problems—you’re pushing each other away.
2. Avoiding Conflict Instead of Addressing It
Many people think avoiding arguments means they’re keeping the peace, but it often leads to emotional distance. Suppressed issues don’t go away—they just build up like pressure in a bottle. Eventually, something small triggers an outburst, and all that pent-up resentment spills out. When couples stop talking about problems, they also stop solving them. The habit of avoidance silently kills intimacy and breeds passive-aggression.
3. Taking Each Other for Granted
The longer a couple is together, the easier it is to stop showing appreciation. When “thank you” and “I love you” become rare, emotional disconnect sets in. This habit makes your partner feel invisible and undervalued, even if you don’t mean to be hurtful. Over time, it creates a sense of emotional loneliness within the relationship. Love doesn’t fade overnight—it fades through neglect.
4. Using Phones More Than Each Other
Endless scrolling during dinner. Mindlessly checking notifications during a conversation. These moments may feel harmless, but they send a powerful message: “This screen is more important than you.” Tech distraction is one of the newer habits that end marriages, and it’s more dangerous than it seems. Real connection can’t happen when your attention is always somewhere else.
5. Letting Resentment Build Instead of Forgiving
Every couple has disagreements and disappointments, but how you handle them matters. Holding onto resentment is like keeping emotional poison in your system—it damages both you and your marriage. When you refuse to forgive or revisit old wounds without resolution, trust erodes over time. Bitterness blocks intimacy and keeps the relationship stuck in the past. Healing requires letting go, even when it’s not easy.
6. Comparing Your Partner to Others
Whether it’s an ex, a friend’s spouse, or a fictional character on TV, constant comparison is a silent killer. It makes your partner feel inadequate and unloved, no matter how subtle the comments may seem. The message becomes clear: “You’re not enough.” This habit breeds insecurity and causes emotional detachment. Love can’t grow in the shadow of someone else’s highlight reel.
7. Never Prioritizing Quality Time
Life gets busy—but marriages fall apart when quality time disappears altogether. If you’re always too tired, too distracted, or too busy for your partner, they start to feel like an afterthought. Over time, this leads to emotional disconnection and a lack of shared experiences. Date nights, quiet mornings, or even a 10-minute chat before bed can keep your bond alive. Without intentional time together, you become roommates instead of partners.
8. Keeping Score Instead of Building Trust
“I did the dishes yesterday, so you owe me today.” Keeping score might feel fair, but it turns your relationship into a competition. Love isn’t transactional—it’s built on mutual trust, not IOUs. When everything is measured and counted, emotional generosity disappears. A healthy marriage thrives on giving freely, not tallying debts.
9. Letting Yourself Emotionally Check Out
Sometimes the biggest red flag isn’t yelling or fighting—it’s silence. Emotional withdrawal is when one or both partners stop caring, stop engaging, or stop trying. It’s a quiet form of giving up that happens slowly, over time. This habit is often the final stage before a relationship truly collapses. Staying emotionally invested is the only way to keep your marriage alive and growing.
The Good News: These Habits Can Be Broken
Typically, people don’t set out on a mission to ruin their marriages on purpose. However, these toxic patterns can sneak in over time. If you’ve noticed any of these habits in your relationship, be willing to have open, honest conversations with your partner (and commit to changing your ways).
Have you recognized any of these habits in your own relationship? Which one do you think is the hardest to break? Join the conversation below and let’s talk it out.
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Drew Blankenship is a former Porsche technician who writes and develops content full-time. He lives in North Carolina, where he enjoys spending time with his wife and two children. While Drew no longer gets his hands dirty modifying Porsches, he still loves motorsport and avidly watches Formula 1.