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7 Ways to Help Your Toddler Beat the Terrible Twos

Many parents who have survived the “terrible two” can tell you the nickname for this stage of young childhood is often well-chosen. According to Healthline, at this stage of their lives, children discover they can now satisfy their natural curiosity and fiercely feel their desire for independence. When their physical ability clashes with their verbal ability to verbalize their intentions, they can become quickly frustrated. Here are some tips that may help parents survive:

1. Set Consistent Limits

As your child goes through this stage, you’ll learn their unique behavior patterns. Decide where you will set limits on their behavior, and be consistent. For example, you may not want them to throw toys, hit their siblings, or use screaming. Let them know these behaviors aren’t acceptable – and tell them what the consequences would be for that behavior.

2. Enact Necessary Consequences

If they do use these behaviors, you’ll need to put the consequences into action. Remind them, as you do, that the consequences are due to their behavior. For example, if they throw a toy, you might put it away for the rest of the day. Consistency is essential; if you warned them you would take away a toy they threw, you need to do that.

3. Maintain a Daily Schedule

One of the ways to let your child know what’s expected from them is to keep their daily schedules – including meals and naps- as consistent as possible. According to the Pillars Christian Learning Center, tantrums and meltdowns are more likely to happen when kids are hungry and tired. A schedule can help prevent those issues and may make it less likely for them to misbehave.

4. Give Them Choices When Pressed

When you need your child to do something (like get dressed or clean up toys), they may balk and say “no.” At that point, you can give them a choice of how to comply. You can, for example, provide them with a time limit to continue playing or an option about which toy to put away first. This helps them have the illusion of control.

5. Anticipate Extremes During Stressful Times

If your family is undergoing a divorce, you may try your best to maintain normalcy, but the differences in family life will be felt. Your two-year-old is likely to react to the stress they detect by episodes of more extreme emotion. Although misbehavior still shouldn’t be tolerated, try to be proactive with your support during this difficult time. While your divorce is still being negotiated, remember that you’ll need to wait two years after an initial child custody order to make any change in arrangement.

6. Keep Your Toddler Busy

If your child is occupied with things they enjoy, they are less likely to become frustrated enough to melt down. Toddlers have short attention spans, so they alternate active periods with restful times. If you sense them becoming frustrated, redirect them to an activity they typically enjoy. After all, their faces use only 12 muscles to smile but over 100 muscles to frown – so it’s physically easier to smile.

7. Get Them Ready for School

When your child goes to school in three years, you’ll want them to be able to get along with a group of similarly-aged children. After all, according to the National Center for Education Statistics, in 2020, there were almost 19,000 private prekindergarten, elementary, and middle schools – so you’ll have plenty of quality schools to choose from. You can prepare for school now by helping them to “play school” at an age-appropriate level.

Remember that the “terrible twos” is a normal developmental stage that can be difficult for parents and children. However, with patience and consistency, you and your children will get through it together. Stay patient and keep your rules consistent. Keep loving them through this challenging time, and you’ll get through it together.