10 Unspoken Rules of ‘Situationships’ That Leave Everyone Confused
In the age of ghosting, soft-launching, and red flags, situationships have become the go-to option for people who want something more than a hookup—but less than commitment. It’s undefined, unspoken, and usually unbalanced. You text, hang out, and maybe even do couple-y things, but when it comes to labels? Crickets. The problem is that situationships often come with invisible rules that no one talks about—yet everyone is expected to follow. These situationship rules leave both parties confused, vulnerable, and often, hurt.
1. You’re Together—But You’re Not “Together”
You spend time together, maybe even sleep over, and act like a couple in every way… except officially. There’s chemistry, comfort, and convenience, but no clear commitment. That blurred line can feel comforting at first—low pressure, right? But over time, the lack of definition leads to insecurity, especially when one person starts catching deeper feelings. One of the key situationship rules is “don’t ask too many questions”—and that’s exactly what makes it messy.
2. Feelings Are Allowed, But Talking About Them Isn’t
In a situationship, emotions are inevitable, but acknowledging them is taboo. You might start to care deeply about this person, but the second you express it, the vibe changes. There’s an unspoken rule that emotional honesty could “ruin the fun.” So instead of clarity, you get silence, tension, or worse—distance. This makes it nearly impossible to know where you stand, keeping both people stuck in emotional limbo.
3. You Can’t Be Jealous, Even If You Are
Jealousy is the elephant in the room in every situationship. You see them liking someone else’s photos or hanging out with other people, but you can’t say anything because… you’re not official. This is one of the cruelest situationship rules: you’re expected to act like it doesn’t bother you. But let’s be real—when there’s intimacy, there’s attachment, and jealousy is a natural response. Pretending it doesn’t exist just makes it fester.
4. You Should Act Chill, Even If You’re Not
There’s this unspoken pressure to always “play it cool” in a situationship. Being too interested or emotionally available might scare the other person off. So instead of being authentic, people hide their real feelings behind detachment or sarcasm. This game of emotional chicken gets exhausting fast. Acting chill when you’re anything but only adds to the confusion and emotional toll.
5. Everything Feels Temporary—Even When It’s Not
One of the most frustrating things about situationships is how temporary everything feels, even if you’ve been in it for months. There’s no milestone, no “this is where we’re going,” and no plan for the future. You’re always waiting for the next text, the next invite, the next breadcrumb. And yet, somehow, you’re emotionally invested like you’re in a real relationship. That constant uncertainty can leave you mentally and emotionally drained.
6. Sex Might Be a Given, But Security Isn’t
In many situationships, sex is frequent—but emotional security isn’t part of the deal. The physical connection is there, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re exclusive or emotionally safe. This is one of the most misleading situationship rules: the intimacy feels real, but the commitment doesn’t match. You’re giving each other your bodies without clarity on anything else. And over time, that can start to feel really one-sided.
7. Social Media Is a Grey Zone
Posting each other online? That’s a big “maybe.” Some people in situationships will go out of their way to hide the other person from their followers to avoid awkward questions or assumptions. Others might post cryptic hints, but never tag or clarify. This lack of public acknowledgment reinforces the idea that things aren’t serious. If you have to crop someone out of your Instagram Story, the situationship rules are running the show.
8. You’re Always Waiting for “The Talk”
Almost every situationship has that lingering question: “What are we?” But asking it too soon risks scaring them off—and asking too late often confirms what you already feared. The reality is, most situationships avoid “the talk” altogether, dragging things out until someone eventually walks away hurt. It’s a rule no one likes but everyone follows: don’t define it, because then you’ll have to decide something. And indecision is the name of the game.
9. The Exit Is Usually Silent
In situationships, the ending is rarely a conversation. More often, it’s a slow fade or sudden ghosting. Because things were never official, there’s this excuse to just… disappear. The silence at the end can feel even worse than a breakup because you’re left questioning what was real and what wasn’t. No closure is part of the deal when no commitment was ever on the table.
Why Situationships Feel Like a Relationship with the Batteries Missing
Situationships lure people in with casual vibes, no pressure, and the illusion of freedom. But more often than not, they leave confusion, hurt, and emotional burnout in their wake. If you’re navigating one now, take stock of how it makes you feel—not just how it looks from the outside. At some point, you deserve clarity, consistency, and connection without having to play guessing games. The only rule that should matter is mutual respect—and sadly, that’s often the one that situationships ignore.
Have you ever been in a situationship that left you emotionally drained—or stuck? Share your story in the comments and help others feel less alone.
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Drew Blankenship is a former Porsche technician who writes and develops content full-time. He lives in North Carolina, where he enjoys spending time with his wife and two children. While Drew no longer gets his hands dirty modifying Porsches, he still loves motorsport and avidly watches Formula 1.