10 Relationship “Fixes” That Usually Make Things Worse
There is no doubt that every couple goes through hard times at some point. Of course, when you feel like something isn’t right in your relationship, your first instinct is to fix things. However, not all “fixes” will work for what’s going on within your relationship. Here are 10 relationship fixes that might actually make the situation worse.
1. Taking a Break Without Clear Boundaries
You remember when Rachel and Ross took a “break” on Friends? It made everything 100 times worse, and it does that in most cases. You have to sit down and talk about what the break means for your relationship. When you don’t communicate about these things, each person can wind up with different expectations. In the end, it leads to confusion, jealousy, and resentment. So, before you think this is the “fix” for your relationship, talk and set some ground rules.
2. Forcing a Big Romantic Gesture to “Fix Everything”
Romantic gestures can be great, but buying flowers or planning a fancy dinner won’t address the deeper issues in your relationship. They essentially just act as a band-aid for the problem. Once the high of the big romantic gesture wears off, the core issues will pop up again. You have to actually make a positive change to improve things.
3. Pretending Nothing Happened
Avoiding conflict is rarely the answer in a relationship. It might feel easier than sitting down and having a tough talk, but it often leads to resentment. When you just sweep things under the rug, they fester. Eventually, things will come to a head, and it will be ugly. Healthy communication is key!
4. Blaming Everything on “Bad Timing”
Blaming relationship problems on external factors like work stress or life transitions avoids accountability. While timing can impact relationships, it’s often a smokescreen for deeper emotional disconnects. Saying “we just met at the wrong time” might feel like a graceful way out, but it skips the opportunity to work through real challenges. The truth is, most lasting relationships are built by navigating bad timing together.
5. Trying to Change Your Partner’s Personality
It’s one thing to ask your partner to work on certain behaviors—but trying to overhaul who they are rarely ends well. Whether it’s their introversion, ambition, or sense of humor, pushing someone to change their core identity causes tension. It can also damage their self-esteem and sense of belonging. A stronger relationship is built on respect and acceptance, not reprogramming.
6. Constantly Checking Their Phone for “Peace of Mind”
Insecure behavior masked as concern is one of the fastest ways to destroy trust. Snooping through texts or social media accounts might feel like you’re “protecting” the relationship, but it often signals deep-rooted trust issues. Instead of providing peace of mind, it creates an environment of surveillance and suspicion. Rebuilding trust requires vulnerability, not control.
7. Using Sex as a Solution to Every Argument
Physical intimacy can be healing, but using it as a shortcut to avoid emotional conversations creates a false sense of closeness. If sex becomes the only way you reconnect after fights, you risk avoiding the real issues. It may also confuse emotional needs with physical ones. A healthy relationship includes both emotional and physical intimacy—each in its right place.
8. Dragging Friends or Family Into the Drama
Venturing to friends or family for every relationship issue can backfire. While outside perspectives can help, constant involvement from others often complicates things. Loved ones may take sides, hold grudges, or offer advice based on limited information. This makes reconciliation between you and your partner harder. Seek professional help or communicate directly instead of making your relationship public gossip.
9. Agreeing Just to End the Argument
Giving in during arguments to keep the peace may seem selfless, but it often leads to long-term dissatisfaction. When you repeatedly silence your own needs, resentment starts to grow. It also teaches your partner that your feelings are negotiable. A relationship requires compromise, not compliance. Healthy conflict resolution means both voices are heard and respected.
10. Relying on Social Media to Prove Your Love
Posting selfies or romantic captions might look like a healthy relationship from the outside, but it can be a way of masking deeper problems. When couples focus on how they appear instead of how they feel, they lose sight of authentic connection. Social media validation doesn’t replace real intimacy or resolve conflict. Strengthen your relationship behind the scenes before you showcase it to the world.
Real Fixes Start With Real Conversations
When it’s all said and done, there is no one fix that will work for everyone for every problem. You have to be willing to grow with your partner and communicate. If you’re feeling stuck or like there’s something that isn’t quite right, avoid these 10 shortcuts. They ultimately wind up doing more harm than good.
Have you tried any of these “fixes” in your own relationship? What worked—or didn’t work—for you? Share your story in the comments below!
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Drew Blankenship is a former Porsche technician who writes and develops content full-time. He lives in North Carolina, where he enjoys spending time with his wife and two children. While Drew no longer gets his hands dirty modifying Porsches, he still loves motorsport and avidly watches Formula 1.