The 8 Biggest Lies Couples Tell Themselves About Love
Relationships can be difficult to navigate, but believing common myths and lies about love can hurt your connection. True love takes work. There are some things that you may be telling yourself that create unrealistic expectations, or worse, create unnecessary conflict in your relationship. Get to know these eight lies and reject them at every turn!
1. “If We Love Each Other, Everything Will Work Itself Out”
You have to put work into a relationship for things to work out. No amount of love can magically fix things. There is a significant amount of effort, compromise, and problem-solving that goes into having a successful relationship. Of course, love is a strong foundation, but you’ll have other issues that come up that will need direct attention to solve. Ignoring issues and just assuming they’ll work themselves out is setting you and your partner up for failure.
2. “Happy Couples Never Fight”
Conflict is a natural part of any relationship. In fact, they can be a sign of a healthy connection. Whether you argue or not isn’t what really matters. It’s how you handle the conflict. Don’t avoid difficult conversations. Instead, focus on communicating with each other with respect. You have to listen and work toward solutions to the problem together. Leaving things unresolved just to avoid a fight will eventually implode on you.
3. “Jealousy Means They Really Love Me”
I’ve experienced jealousy in relationships. It can be a “natural” thing to experience, but it should not be considered a sign of love. Most of the time, excessive jealousy points to control issues and insecurity. If you notice your partner is going through your phone frequently or questions you regularly, they are displaying a lack of trust. It isn’t a sign of love. In the end, true love will not involve constant suspicion.
4. “We Should Always Feel That Spark”
The excitement of new love is exhilarating, but expecting it to last forever without effort is unrealistic. Over time, the initial rush of attraction naturally shifts into deeper emotional intimacy. Some couples panic when the butterflies fade, thinking it means they’re falling out of love. In reality, love evolves, and long-term relationships require intentional romance, surprises, and quality time to keep the connection strong.
5. “Our Relationship Should Complete Us”
Romantic movies often push the idea that a partner should “complete” us, but relying on someone else for fulfillment is dangerous. Healthy relationships are built by two whole individuals who bring out the best in each other, not by people looking to fill emotional voids. Expecting a partner to fix insecurities or make life perfect leads to disappointment. True love enhances your life, but it shouldn’t be your sole source of happiness.
6. “Good Relationships Shouldn’t Be Hard”
Many people believe that if a relationship requires work, it must not be right. In reality, all relationships take effort, patience, and compromise to succeed. Expecting love to be easy sets couples up for failure when challenges arise. Growth, both as individuals and as a couple, comes from working through obstacles together. Love isn’t about perfection—it’s about choosing each other every day, even when things get tough. Relationships require effort, but they shouldn’t feel like a constant struggle.
7. “Marriage or Commitment Will Fix Our Problems”
Some couples believe that getting married, moving in together, or having a child will magically solve their issues. In truth, major life changes often amplify existing problems rather than fix them. Unresolved communication issues, trust concerns, or emotional baggage don’t disappear with a ring or shared lease. Strong relationships are built on a solid foundation, not temporary bandaids.
8. “We Should Want the Same Things All the Time”
Couples sometimes assume that true love means always being on the same page about everything. In reality, no two people have identical needs, goals, or opinions 100% of the time. Expecting complete agreement can lead to unnecessary frustration and pressure. The healthiest relationships allow room for differences and respect individual dreams and ambitions.
Love Thrives on Truth, Not Illusions
Believing these common relationship lies can lead to unnecessary feelings of resentment and disappointment. Couples who have truly strong connections know that love isn’t about being perfect. It’s more about growing together, putting in the effort, and respecting each other. The sooner you let go of these lies, the happier you’ll be with your partner.
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Drew Blankenship is a former Porsche technician who writes and develops content full-time. He lives in North Carolina, where he enjoys spending time with his wife and two children. While Drew no longer gets his hands dirty modifying Porsches, he still loves motorsport and avidly watches Formula 1.